Friday, September 19, 2008

Today in Useless Polls


The Associated Press and Yahoo News get down to business and ask Americans the definitive question of this election: Who would you rather watch a football game with?
We know from our last two Big Dumb Elections that all America wants from their president is a drinking buddy. So the result of this poll is great news for our friend Barry.
50% of those polled would prefer to drink white wine spritzers and discuss the finer points of the game with our guy, while only 47% would prefer to pound Budweisers and be yelled at by John McCain when you ask him to stop switching to the History Channel. He'd then fall asleep at halftime, for 5 and a half years.

2 comments:

Mogge said...

What I love about that article is that even McCain supporters recognize his scary anger:

"'I bet he'd probably get pretty angry and lit up if his team was losing.'"

The telling stat is that one fifth of McCain's voters would rather hang with Obama than angry gramps.

Ryan said...

I think the title to this post is perfect really. Because this information is useless.

Although, my favorite part is....."Women, minorities, younger and unmarried people were likelier to prefer catching a game with Obama while men, whites, older and married people would rather watch with McCain."

Perhaps this is because Obama has more sex appeal in his little pinky than McCain has ever had in his entire life. Not to mention he'd probably ask you to keep it down, be disappointed when you didn't have an expensive scotch (because let's be honest, a man who doesn't know how many houses he has drinks scotch not beer), and would probably make inappropriate comments to women in the room.

That's what all the crazy old men I know do when they watch football games.

But I guess in some ways this is good news for us...sadly. People like electing a drinking buddy they'll never actually drink with. And I think Obama can be that guy.