Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Obama is Time's Person of the Year and Palin is still gross.

So Time has named Barack Obama Person of the Year. I may be a bit biased, but I think that there are a lot of reasons to argue why it was an obvious, yet good, choice. Charismatic and influential and there's still more than a month before he even takes office, but he is preparing for the switch swiftly and efficiently and has, so far, done a bang up job of picking a team to work with.

And then you go to Time's list of runners up. I get why she's on the list. After all, it's been a pretty stellar year for Sarah Palin. Going from no-name Alaska governor/"hockey mom" to a potential Republican Presidential nominee in 4 years is no small feat. And let's face it, I don't think I am alone in saying that I thought she would just putter out and fade back into the Alaskan wilderness, what will all of the scandals involving family and abuse of power, not to mention just being a 'crazy hillbilly on a shopping spree at Neiman Marcus coast to coast leaving in her wake crying assistants with huge personal credit card bills.'

But the Palin train just won't stop at the station. The time article does a decent job of covering the good and the bad, I guess. It touches briefly on the icky stuff, but it also seems to contain this overarching admiration which I will never understand. To a degree, it's been a better year than not for the Alaskan governor, but after all of it, can we really think that she is even fit to be in the running for person of the year? As much as I hope she just fades back into nothingness, I'd love it even more if the media would just let Palin-fever die out.

In the article, she is called a "one-woman rescue team for the Republican ticket." Really? Because while she may have united the Christian conservative movement behind the Republican ticket this go around, she scared the hell out of any right-leaning people I know who don't fall under the Christian conservative right - and scared most of them to the point to where they didn't even vote for McCain in the end. So I fully believe it could be argued that she lost as many or more votes than she gained for the campaign. Christian conservative were almost certainly going to vote Republican anyway - it is the Independents and fiscal conservatives that Palin needs and did not and probably will not get. The Time article quotes Limbaugh as saying "Palin = Guns, Babies, Jesus."

Maybe in previous elections the guns, babies, and Jesus bit worked, but in this election where we are still waging a war abroad most people aren't even sure we should have gotten into in the first place and facing failing economies here in the U.S. and around the world, suddenly those wedge issues all but disappeared for everyone except people like Sarah Palin.

Plus, Palin's general ignorance on any issues that were important didn't help, along with the "token woman" idea that Hillary supporters would vote Palin just because she was a woman. While I think that it is insane for Palin to be questioned on her ability to govern and be a mother at the same time, I also think that it is insane to hear Palin call herself a feminist or to be seen as any sort of a voice for women since not a single woman I know agreed with a single thing that came out of Palin's mouth or even remotely liked her at all. Certainly none of them voted for her purely on the basis that she's a woman. Part of me almost hopes she does stick around for 2012, purely because I believe what will happen this election will happen again: Independent and non-Christian conservatives will be scared off leaving her with another loss. But a tiny part of me asks, What if?? and frankly, I'm not much of a gambler, so I think I'll just stick to hoping the Palin's best year was 2008.
Read more On "Obama is Time's Person of the Year and Palin is still gross."!

Monday, November 24, 2008

If you're going to commit a crime...

If you're going to commit a crime it should, obviously, be a white collar crime. As it turns out these white collar crimes are much more pardonable than anything else. But what you may not have known is that you're better off doing these things in the south. Apparently, Bush has a soft spot for the southerners.

Here's a list of of those who were pardoned: Andrew Foster Harley of Falls Church, Va. Harley was convicted of wrongful use and distribution of marijuana and cocaine.

_Obie Gene Helton of Rossville, Ga., whose offense was unauthorized acquisition of food stamps.

_Carey C. Hice Sr. of Travelers Rest, S.C., who was convicted of income tax evasion.

_Geneva Yvonne Hogg of Jacksonville, Fla., convicted of bank embezzlement.

_William Hoyle McCright Jr. of Midland, Texas, who was sentenced for making false entries, books, reports or statements to a bank.

_Paul Julian McCurdy of Sulphur, Okla., who was sentenced for misapplication of bank funds.

_Robert Earl Mohon Jr. of Grant, Ala., who was convicted of conspiracy to distribute marijuana.

_Ronald Alan Mohrhoff of Los Angeles, who was convicted for unlawful use of a telephone in a narcotics felony.

_Daniel Figh Pue III of Conroe, Texas, convicted of illegal treatment, storage and disposal of a hazardous waste without a permit.

_Orion Lynn Vick of White Hall, Ark., who was convicted of aiding and abetting the theft of government property.

Bush also commuted the prison sentences of John Edward Forte of North Brunswick, N.J., and James Russell Harris of Detroit, Mich. Both were convicted of cocaine offenses.

Morale of the Story: go commit crimes in the south!

Read more On "If you're going to commit a crime..."!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Our post-election world..

Now that the election is over and the Republicans are being ousted this is what FoxNews is covering... Read more On "Our post-election world.."!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sarah Palin is so dumb....

In case you missed Friday's Daily Show...
Read more On "Sarah Palin is so dumb...."!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I could get used to this

What party was talking about a permanent majority again?

(ok ok so things will most certainly shift to some sort of median, but its still our honeymoon period so lets just imagine all people of our generation keeping the same good sense as they have had for the past two elections)
Read more On "I could get used to this"!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Hopefully she'll just fade back into the Alaskan nothingness.

So, true to her tricksy ways, Palin fails to disappoint in the newest series of items coming from what's left of the McCain campaign. Let's see if I can get this straight:

Palin is a complete hellmonster diva who regularly made staffers cry all while thinking her shit was so hot that top McCain aides could barely hold themselves back while she prances around in a towel shrieking about Africa being a country in North America and rehashing Bill Ayers, whoever that is, without McCain campaign approval all while making low-level staffers charge "tens of thousands" of dollars to their personal credit cards and laughing manically while being "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast" with the First Dude and the rest of the wolf pack.

But then again, she was somehow able to contain herself Election Night when she was told by top McCain aides to shut the hell up, choosing instead to head back to Alaska in a 12-car motorcade while McCain just drove himself home while crying.

Whoa. Evidently, $150,000 was a LOW estimate, which is pretty amazing and even though she returned to Alaska, followed by a GOP lawyer who wants those clothes back, to chants of "2012", it looks like Palin's political career may be walking that long green mile. Though, a former McCain-supporter turned Obama voter said yesterday that he would bet money that she'll nominate herself to replace Senator Stevens when he has to go off to jail, which if legal, seems like a weird conflict of interest, though we all know that she isn't above whipping out a little abuse of power to lash doubters with. What a woman.
Read more On "Hopefully she'll just fade back into the Alaskan nothingness."!

Free sticker

Some of you may already be aware of this offer, but just in case: is offering "Yes we did" stickers for free...even the shipping is free.

Here is the link. Throughout the campaign I managed a free Obama/Biden sticker, two free Obama buttons and now my sticker is on its way! I love For more reasons than that they just give me free stuff, too.

Enjoy. Read more On "Free sticker"!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Yes we did

It's been quiet here because I think we all got too caught up in history. I was there in Grant Park when we made history and I may be exaggerating a bit but what the hell I'll just say it, it was the greatest night of my life! I've never seen a bigger outlet of happiness and togetherness. Yes we did. Yes we can. Yes we will.

On the lighter side just read this web address, dont click the link, read what tha address here is notice anything off?

Ok you should have seen it by now, Obamas white ho? McCain must be shaking his head this couldn't have been an October surprise. Oh well!
Read more On "Yes we did"!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


7:00 Here we go with Obama's big TV buy, 30 minutes to lay out his case. Will it be a smart move? When is McCain's super expensive ad gonna start?

7:05 - Obama talks to confused old people about pension, they lean forward as he says the word gift, but then they realize theres no gifts and lean back

Right after this Obama says a good line, grow the economy, his policies don't grow the goverment

7:07 - So that's who works at wal-mart, nice touch not revealing that till the end. Also subtely showed the old black couple reading the bible

7:11 - Topic change to Iraq. Focusing on the monetary cost of the war. CEO of Google! Obama is so cool, Google wants him to be president.

7:14 - Got up for a bit and now Obama is talking about some teacher with a snotty looking teenage girl.

Moving on to kids, smart use of soundbites from old Obama speeches. Good mix so far of typical types of puffing while actually put down some good bio on Barack and outlying things that are at least a little specific like his economic plans.

7:16 - Talking about Obama growing up, pretty sure this segment is the same video played at the DNC, or at least part of it.

7:18 - Obama talking about his work with Bill Ayers to improve schools... just kidding! Barry just laying down how he's fixed schools all by himself, without anyone named Bill or William.

7:20 - Obama reads Harry Potter and has thus captured the elusive 7-year old and nerd votes in one swoop! Program moving on to showing Obama has something called experience.

7:21 - Biden drops programs first "literally." Program is moving at a fast pace, seems like a good choice to keep Joe the watcher interested.

7:25 - One thought on these little bio's of average Americans they are doing, they better be true and ready to be investigated by every jerk on the right. Don't want to find out the wal-mart guy isn't a registered wal-mart worker.

7:27 - Good dramatic close, a good appeal to moderates I think with thet stuff about honesty and open government, now cutting to live Obama-event at the Obamadome (in Florida no less)!

Obama basically repeating his "closing argument speech" he's been giving all week.

7:30 - Well its over, the live thing was very short. Great idea to put up all the info about voting and how to find out where to vote. Seemed pretty good overall, not too presumptious like Chris Matthews was worried about. What do you people think?
Read more On "Obamamercial"!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

This Election is Down to the Wire

We here at PWARB love The Wire, because we are all white liberal elites and therefore realize that it is/was the best show on television. So it is no surprise that some of the cast of The Wire share our feelings for Barack Obama, our other great love.
If you've seen the show, you know that being on the bad side of Marlo Stanfield and Chris Partlow means you're 'bout to get got. They are scary, scary men. Also scary is the newly chubby Carver... what happened there?
Read more On "This Election is Down to the Wire"!

Now McCain is laughing. Barbara West is just hilarious!

As a follow up to yesterday's post about WFTV's own Barbara West, here is an interview she did on CNN this morning to defend her Biden interview. She talks about how the media needs to be harder on the campaigns, but maybe she should take her own advice and be more critical of BOTH campaigns:

But better yet, in the interview she did yesterday with McCain, she was a little harder hitting. It's funny that she did this interview after all the criticism about her first McCain interview and the proverbial poo hit the fan all blogosphere-style.

First, I like how McCain's smile slowly, but eventually, fades throughout the interview. And he also uses the old "we're mavericks, we won't always agree" thing AGAIN. Give it up already. We get it. You two are just so wacky.

Plus, the way he is giggling and quivering about during the first half of the interview, he just looks like he's high.

She probably didn't realize that he was pretty serious when he said in the beginning not to ask any mean questions. I wonder if Barbara will get a third interview.

He also has the chance to go on and on about Obama's socialist tendencies and Biden's remarks about Obama's inexperience. Nothing like misrepresenting Obama's tax plan AGAIN. I've never heard people refer to Clinton as Bill the Socialist, and Obama's tax cuts would essentially be reverting back to the tax code in place in the mid-90s, which if I'm not mistaken wasn't such a bad time for everyone. And I don't know what McCain was listening to but Biden actually said that Obama would be tested AND HE COULD HANDLE IT BETTER THAN MCCAIN.

Oh, and Joe the Plumber. Again. From McCain. Give it up. The guy is a fake. He isn't actually a registered plumber and he is not ever going to buy the business he's been working at all these years because it is not real.
Read more On "Now McCain is laughing. Barbara West is just hilarious!"!

Now that's Spooky

Have any homicidal fantasies re:Palin? Apparently these dudes do.

This display is somewhere in my neighborhood. Is it wrong that I want to drive by on my way home? Another Palin-related West Hollywood fun fact: The mayor of West Hollywood has requested that none of the Drag Queens dress as Palin in the annual Halloween Parade extravaganza. The reason? She's too easy.

Confession time: Once, on a crazy night at the Grand Canyon I burned someone's image in effigy. It was fucking awesome and cathartic in a way I'd never known. I haven't done it since and I probably won't. At least, not until after November 4th. What would be a satisfying representation of Prop 8?

Read more On "Now that's Spooky"!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Biden thinks this lady is FUNNY!

This WFTV Orlando, FL based, Fox affiliate reporter, Barbara West just thinks that Biden McCain is the bee's knees. Watch as she tries to really tear apart Biden while asking him ridiculously "in the tank for McCain" questions and Joe just laughs because he can't believe that this lady is a real person:

Oh, Barbara, with those liberal hating questions I'd expect you to be foaming at the mouth, but you actually showed so little emotion that I didn't know whether or not you were really alive or if you were instead, a robot.

Meanwhile, her interview with McCain went a little differently:

Oops, there's a little bit of drool on the side of your mouth. Yeah, yeah, right there. Yeah, you got it.

Wow, lady. That's just awesome of you, as a "professional journalist", to ask such unbiased questions. You're a real hard hitter, asking those tough questions. Like how can Obama live with himself after trying to register Mickey Mouse to vote? And McCain why didn't you rip Obama apart for something he had no control over?

And I mean, let's face it, Obama wouldn't have tried to register Mickey Mouse anyway. Everyone knows he's been living it large under the Bush tax cuts, and since he makes more than $250,000 a year and would continue to fare better under McCain's tax plan anyway. Read more On "Biden thinks this lady is FUNNY!"!

Well, she IS a maverick!

McCain and Palin have been using the old "Well, we're mavericks! You surely can't expect us to agree on everything!" gag lately. I've heard Johnny use it in at least two separate interviews. Well, these days it looks like McCain and Palin may not be agreeing on much.

With reports of this "diva" ignoring talking points and "going rogue" and all, maybe ol' Sarahcuda has a little something something up her sleeve for 2012. Forget about dealing with John McCrazypants for the next 4 years and him trying to hold her back from the greatnessmess she could be!

Palin 2012, baby!
Read more On "Well, she IS a maverick!"!

Monday, October 20, 2008

McCain wants YOU...

Yes, sir. That's right. YOU, Joe the Plumber. McCain wants YOU.

This may actually be the most technologically advanced thing the McCain campaign has done to date. Hey everybody, tell us why you are poor and you hate it! McCain is really pushing this idea of Obama = "spreading the wealth" = socialism, when if you have been paying attention, Obama's tax plan would just be returning the tax code to somewhere NEAR where it was before Bush went all crazy hating on the middle class. And all of this even after Joe the Plumber ends up being a total fake.

Instead of asking, "Why should I be punished (+3%) for being more successful?", maybe Joe the Plumber needs to be asking, "Why do rich politicians try to tax me a higher percentage of my income to keep me from making enough money to be financially wealthy?" Read more On "McCain wants YOU..."!

Friday, October 17, 2008

The more I think about it...

... the more I think John McCain and I will have to agree to disagree on this. Not that we agree on much anyway. But just take a look at the uncommitted Ohio voters feelings on what the candidates are saying at the bottom of the screen. Evidently I'm not the only one who doesn't like what McCain is saying or how he is saying it.

The use of the term "pro-abortion" is one of the biggest problems I see with the entire issue of abortion. I hate that this issue of abortion is even raised at this point. It is, in this day and age, just an issue raised to rally a largely (not entirely) religious crowd behind a single issue that is never even touched once the president gets into office. I remember abortion being a huge issue in both of the 2000 and 2004 elections and what did GWB do about it? Nothing. Why? Because he just needed the issue to get elected.

But since the issue of abortion continues to be brought up, McCain's finger quotes around the "health of the mother" is insulting. Like the life of the mother means nothing compared to the fetus in her womb that may kill her. I wonder if McCain would use finger quotes like that when talking to someone who has been in that situation. I wonder what McCain would do if it were his wife in such a position.

More importantly, though, the use of the term "pro-abortion" is so offensive and is just a way of skewing pro-choice to make it seem like something that it is not. It's eerily similar to the way you will often hear "climate change" instead of "global warming" to make it seem like man isn't destroying the planet, but that's another topic for another day.

But in regards to the abortion issue, being pro-choice does not make you pro-abortion or anti-life. It would be great if abortion didn't exist. But it would also be a great thing if war or the death penalty didn't exist either. But we do not live in a perfect world and there are silly little things to consider when bringing a human life into this like "health of the mother" and "quality of life" for mother and child, among other things.

McCain's use of "pro-abortion" really diminishes people, and especially women, who consider themselves pro-choice and makes us out to be anti-life nutjobs, which couldn't be further from the truth. Pro-choice may just mean that one does not presume to know other people's situations and therefore believe that the CHOICE should be available to each woman, especially and most importantly when these women find themselves in a situation where they had no say in any of CHOICES that got them there.
Read more On "The more I think about it..."!

Three degrees of separation.

Wow, maybe this whole wacky idea of 6 degrees of separation totally works. Maybe, just maybe, this little gem of an article from Huffington post is a total coincidence. Yeah, maybe.

You know what? It probably is a total coincidence. I mean, I know what you are thinking. McCain was the one who brought up Joe the Plumber more than 20 times during the debate. And it is weird that this guy is just three tiny degrees of separation away from McCain himself. And yes, Joe the Plumber's real name isn't even Joe, so who would've thought the press would find him so quickly or that he's have all these weirdo "issues." I mean, if this was some sort of crazy manipulative political move by McCain, it would be pretty silly since he surely would have learned from the vetting process with Palin to look a little more closely at someone before allying your name with theirs, though it is funny that "Joe" has already done more interviews than Palin, so maybe this was all about drawing attention to something - anything - else. Because between Troopergate and new ads like these:

So, yeah, if I were McCain I'd probably want to draw attention to anything else too. Like, you know, Joe, that plumber guy, the one who hates paying taxes. Because only socialists love paying taxes. Read more On "Three degrees of separation."!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


This guy is classic.

He talks of going out and educating yourself about the candidates - which is a really great idea - but if you are going to do that, you should probably go and educate yourself on a few other things like economic thoughts on trickle up or trickle down and which one of them leads to a stronger economy. Oh, and maybe the definition of "socialism", which he bandies about pretty freely. All I'm saying is that if you are checking out the candidates, you might want to be able to also understand what they are even talking about. My favorite part is towards the end when he starts talking about the different jobs he does like working on a water main... BORING.

Someone should really tell this guy that he can just vote for Democrats now, who will cut his taxes, and when (read:if) he ever makes it big, THEN vote for Republicans, who will cut his taxes. Geez. But then again, I guess he's smarter than all of us, since he doesn't actually pay any of them anyway.

We really need to be more careful about who we are making overnight celebrities because evidently we're currently accepting all applications. Read more On "ITTTTT'SSSSS JOE!"!

Cleaning the Pipes on Joe the Plumber

So everyone wants to know more about this Joe the plumber character. Turns out he's kind of d-bag. Not registered to vote, and definitely not entitled to bitch about taxes, seeing as he doesn't even pay his. Joe the plumber has an income tax lien against his home.
Apparently nobody can find records of him even being a licensed plumber. Check out the Ohio license database here.
Pretty sure this guy is really some kind of terrible remote controlled robot/hologram.

The Toledo Blade:
Linda Howe, executive director of the Lucas County Board of Elections, said a Samuel Joseph Worzelbacher, whose address and age match Joe the Plumber’s, registered in Lucas County on Sept. 10, 1992. He voted in his first primary on March 4, 2008, registering as a Republican.

Ms. Howe said that the name may be misspelled in the database.

Turns out ACORN had registered him 87 times under multiple misspellings. Wurzelbacher will vote 87 times for Bob Barr and noone will care. VOTER FRAUD! Read more On "Cleaning the Pipes on Joe the Plumber"!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Honey! What's That Big Word Mean? The One They's Sayin' on the Picture Box

Your post-debate top ten most googled terms:
1. congressman lewis
2. repudiate
3. joe the plumber
4. reputiated
5. bob schieffer
6. live debate blog
7. brutha
8. cockamamie
9. presidential debate october 15
10. repudiate definition

Our country needs vocab flashcards.

And here is the rest of it.
Read more On "Honey! What's That Big Word Mean? The One They's Sayin' on the Picture Box"!

Obama vs McCain 3: The Reckoning

Read more On "Obama vs McCain 3: The Reckoning"!

A Terrifying Alternate Future
Waste a few minutes with this interactive (click baby click!)view of the Palin Oval Office.
Maaaaverick. Read more On "A Terrifying Alternate Future"!

Obama Releases Video Game Advertisements

Chicago Sun-Times: “The Obama camp has bought ‘billboard space’ within nine video games, all from Electronic Arts: ‘Madden ’09,’ ‘NBA Live ’08,’ ‘Burnout Paradise,’ ‘Nascar 09,’ ‘Need For Speed Carbon,’ ‘Need For Speed Pro Street’ ‘NFL on Tour,’ ‘NHL ’09’ and ‘Skate.’ The virtual ads in the games are frequently updated with real advertising through online downloads. They feature a photo of the senator with text [saying] ‘EARLY VOTING HAS BEGUN,’ and direct gamers to the Obama Web site

Oh man, Burnout Paradise... the jokes write themselves.

Meanwhile, the McCain campaign is busy working on a way to incorporate advertisements into the less stressful games favored by the Senator himself, such as Mahjongg, Snood, and the solitaire program pre-loaded on all Windows PC's. Read more On "Obama Releases Video Game Advertisements"!

Monday, October 13, 2008

I Pledge Allegiance, to the Flag, of the United States of Obamamerica.

I wish I could know how it feels to have my thoughts blurred by the intoxicating cocktail of ignorance and fear that the author of The Real Barack Obama blog and his readers seem to enjoy daily. It must be kind of exciting skittering from one off the wall conspiracy theory to the next like some kind of anxious ground rodent in the shadow of a circling hawk, or perhaps under the shadow of one of those stealth helicopters operated by the United Nations that fly overhead, spreading chemtrails full of CIA mind control gas in preparation for the Reptilian/Illuminati controlled Global government New World Order. Ah, the secret thrills of wing-nuttery. Unfortunately we here at Pwarb lead fairly boogie-man-free lives and therefore failed to see the menace of the Ohio state flag. Clicky for more, for real.

How devious! That Indonesian terror monster Barack Obama gave a speech outlining his new economic plan in the backwater outpost of Ohio, an exotic locale about which very little is known, most certainly not the colors and iconography of its state flag. Here he revealed the new standard that will be flown from the porch of every abandoned foreclosed home after they have been cleared of firearms and bibles. It is emblazoned with an ominous red and white circle that vaguely resembles an 'O' (which stands for 'O shit, I'm totally winning this election!'), but will be peeled away immediately upon Barack's inauguration (sworn in on a Koran, have you not HEARD?)to reveal a Star and Crescent.
Remember, we do not know who this man is! Thank you, Real Barack Obama blog. You've shown us the truth about this shadowy figure who has written two memoirs laying out every detail of his life except for the birthmarks only Michelle knows about, and who has only been running for president under the most intense levels of scrutiny for two years now. He is The Other, email everyone you know! I'll definitely be checking in for more Truth Nuggets in the coming days.
In related news: Study shows students' lack of geography knowledge.
Read more On "I Pledge Allegiance, to the Flag, of the United States of Obamamerica."!

Sunday, October 12, 2008


I'm sure we have all seen videos like this one. Just incredible. When does this stop? Does this recent display of hatred lead somewhere or does it fade away with the rest of McCain's campaign? Where do we expect these people to go once McCain loses and with it goes there last great hope for salvation from the socialist terrorist (amazing they have combined the last two boogy-men of the right in B.O., communism and terrorism)? Every morning when I wake up I admit I load of my Google news page with a certain sense of dread fearing something happened while I slept or was away from my computer/society. A recent article on Kos said a canvasser reported that one man whose house he stopped at said he would "shoot anyone in his house" or neighborhood who voted for Obama. The person who wrote the blog entry seemed to move on and just found it disturbing, but in all reality this sort of thing needs to be reported not just to the internets, but to police. This man or people making similar threats should, if cops will do nothing, be sued so they are forced to publicly defend their statements.

These people are becoming unhinged, I have heard arguments that many on the left call Bush a war-criminal, so what is the difference? First, he has been called a war-criminal based on things that actually happened! Even if he will never be prosecuted, at least the charges of war-crime did not come from anonymous emails. Second, this glosses over the history of race and violence in America in pretending the circumstances surrounding both attacks are the same. Barack is sometimes compared to JFK for the way he has inspired people and the work he is doing, I hope in history, that is as far as the comparisons go.
Read more On "Incredible"!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Be a Political Halloweenie

Make certain that your pumpkins are vandalized with these political jack-o-lantern patterns.
Watch as John McCain's orange visage decays along with his hopes of being POTUS. Practice your rage and indignation for stolen elections and racial violence as Sarah Palin's domestic terror lynch mobs make a visit to your house to smash your gourd of Hope.
Also, be sure to save the seeds and toast them. Fun and necessary, since by Halloween we'll all be boiling our shoes and scavenging for old cabbage. Read more On "Be a Political Halloweenie"!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Pres Debate Take Two

And here is the rest of it.
Read more On "Pres Debate Take Two"!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Happy Halloween from John McCain

My Halloween decorations this year will be a television playing a loop of this video, next to a paper dated November 5th that reads "McCain defeats Obama". Read more On "Happy Halloween from John McCain"!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Just a little somethin' somethin'

Sarah Palin did not look like a complete idiot tonight like I expected she would. Sure, she obviously avoided answering questions. But she’s not the first politician to dodge questions. She just tends to do it less artfully.

I was sad it wasn’t the trainwreck I wanted. That would have been awesome, really. But we’re into the general election and general elections are not about extremes. General elections are about staying as middle of the road as you can to woo over the undecided in your party without alienating the undecided in the other party. A train wreck would have been fun to blog about because bloggers blog about things that bother them, more often than not.

But Sarah Palin didn’t bother me as much as I expected her to (especially given her blunders with Couric recently). Obviously there are things that DO bother me surrounding this debate, as I am blogging about it, so I’ll just get to it.

1.) “She looked charming. She looked engaging. He looked professorial.” (This was a quote from some CNN pundit said right after the debate during their “analysis”)
No one can deny that in an age of fast information and television, image is important. For some image is everything. Pam Anderson has capitalized on this. If she had a nickel for every time she purposely capitalized on her image she could fill one hundred of her pre-breast-reduction bras. (I guess though she really does have a nickel for every time she has done this.) I guess my beef is…should (or does) image really matter in an arena where intellect and wit are supposed to take precedent?

I think, unfortunately, the answer is: Yes. Yes. Image fucking matters. More than it should. It might be nice to have, at least, a few pundits or “journalists” who realize this as well. Especially since they deliver the news and I’m forced to listen to them when I watch news networks.

But I’m sure McCain’s camp realized that image is everything when their VP pick can’t articulate answers to fairly simple questions to one of network TV’s pseudo-journalists. I think they were hoping for a 1960 Nixon-Kennedy sort of debate. I think they were really hoping that the audience would be wooed by her womanly charms and forget that she dodged answering questions.

We can’t ignore looks anymore than we can ignore gender or race in this election, but two of the three above actually have social significance.

2.) Using your gender to your advantage is okay, but it’s not okay for those who don’t take advantage of their gender to point out when gender is playing a part of their campaign. This is: Sarah Palin v. Hillary Clinton
Palin winked. She batted her eyes. She gave coy little smiles. She did all but flip her damn hair. But the “analysis” says she “connected” to the people. Whether it was an act or not (I would argue that it was) she played into gender stereotypes and it seems to have had a positive impact on her image.

Prior to this debate, there was lots of discussion about how this debate would be difficult for Biden. He couldn’t be too hard on her or too lax on her for fear of repercussion. It was a lose-lose situation. But there was actually discussion about how he would handle the idea of her being a woman. Politicians should be asexual. We should care simply about their brains and their mouth…and sometimes the disconnect between the two. The rest is just detail. We shouldn’t care about their hairstyle, their gut, their genitalia, or their suits. But I guess this goes back to being an image-is-everything issue.

It should be noted, that I never recall this conversation happening when Hillary Clinton participated in primary debates. There were talks about gender. This was an election of many firsts and she put several million cracks in the glass ceiling. These talks also centered around her emotions (mainly when she cried) but mostly they (American voting public and media pundits) reamed her for acting like a woman. When she cried, they asked: is she really strong enough? Because Hillary ran a formidable campaign and was a formidable opponent with, arguably, several masculine personality traits she was berated for not being woman enough. In reality, she just didn’t adhere to the feminine qualities that are naturally more appealing to cover and more appealing to a gender polarized society.

I guess, ultimately, both of these issues are really just one issue: image is everything. Femininity is a part of a woman’s issue or the lack of certain feminine qualities defines her image. Only one feminine quality is appealing to a viewing voting public and it’s pundits and that’s how a woman looks. It’s how she portrays herself. She must be nice to look at, bat her eyes, smile coyly and she’s in. If she doesn’t, she’ll find herself out.

Then again, she was the VP pick just because she had a vagina.
Read more On "Just a little somethin' somethin'"!

Live Blogging the Debate

Read more On "Live Blogging the Debate"!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Enough said.

Last night when I posted about Sarahcuda's most recent Couric debacle, I couldn't even bring myself to clearly think through her comments about being a feminist because it hurt my brain too much.

But I think that this does a much better job anyway. I was forwarded this by a friend who is also a writer on the blog, so a round of applause goes to writer Ryan.


Dear Sarah Palin,

You are not our candidate.

You are not our candidate because you required women in Wasilla
to pay for their own medical examinations after being raped.

You are not our candidate because you do not support a woman's
right to choose, even in the case of rape or incest.

You are not our candidate because you've cut funding for teen
moms, and for comprehensive sex education.

You are not our candidate because as vice president -- a
heartbeat away from the presidency -- you would jeopardize
health care for women everywhere.

We are teachers, doctors, athletes, programmers, artists,
lawyers, secretaries, CEOs, students, designers, nurses, factory
workers, mothers, and fathers. We are conservatives and
liberals, Democrats and Republicans, country and city people. We
are women and men. We are voters. We are the Planned Parenthood
Action Fund.

We believe in a woman's right to choose and the right of every
person to have access to complete reproductive health care. We
are hundreds of thousands strong, and we are doing everything we
can to make sure you are not elected.

You are not our candidate.

+ + +
Please click here to add your signature:
Read more On "Enough said."!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Feminine Mystique

So here's another segment of the infamous Palin/Couric interview. It's a bit long as Palin continues to just talk around Couric's questions while not really answering some of them, but at this point, would we expect any less?

She starts it off with telling Couric that she considers herself a feminist. Hmmm, that's interesting.

Things to study for the quiz:
1) McCain and Palin are mavericks and agreeing with each other only makes them boring.*

2) She's so feisty. But only when there's a script.**

3) Around the 3:08 mark:
Couric: What newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?
Palin: I've read most of them, again, with a great appreciation for the press, for the media...
Couric: But like, what one specifically, I am curious... that you...
Palin: Oh, all of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years...
Couric: Can you name a few?
Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news. Alaska isn't a foreign country...***

4) It doesn't matter if global warming is man-made... "It kinda doesn't matter at this point as we debate what caused it, the point is that it's real and we need to do something about it." Like get that oil out of there while we can because Alaska is melting. Right now, it's melting.****

5) Then Couric launches into the abortion issue.
Couric: If a 15-year-old is raped by her father, you believe it should be illegal for her to get an abortion. Why?
Palin ends up saying that she would "counsel to choose life."

I just wonder if Palin would choose life if she were carrying her father's rape baby.*****

6) Oh, and she doesn't judge gays, but thinks it's a choice.******

* The creepy giggly, elbow-rubbing moment around 1:50 where McCain makes a comment on how 2 mavericks won't always agree on everything. Then he makes a comment on how they are "anything but boring." Which I guess he has a point. Horrifying, cringe-inducing, and never boring. Yippee.

**They comment on how feisty she is and then show a clip where she makes a quip about Biden's age (ironic) and then show her leaning on the podium waiting for the laughter. If this doesn't work out, she could obviously go into stand up.

The problem here lies in that when she has a script, or better yet a teleprompter, she's just great. She can win over the crowd with her "trademark feistiness" and her little quips, but when she is asked a question at random, she's out of control. Anyone can study for a vocab test, but the American Presidency is probably a little more like a critical thinking essay test. Plus, anyone can follow a script or read a teleprompter when they spent 6 years in undergrad training for a career in broadcast journalism.

***Katie Couric probably knows that Alaska was the 49th state and isn't a foreign country, but Katie was all like, "Just say the name of ONE!" and Palin couldn't, which is weird because she was a journalism major AND she's been on the cover of several very recently... Yikes.

****Here again, there is more talking around the question: "Alaska is the only arctic state." Yes... you have stuff melting... yes, go on... and then to Couric's pressing on whether or not it's man made she sums it up with "it doesn't matter" that man's waste and inability to recycle or respect the earth is causing the world to end.

Palin can't admit that global warming is man-made because then she won't be able to drill in Alaska bringing in millions of billions of dollar for the home team and she'll have to admit things like polar bears do belong on the endangered list and that maybe shooting those wolves from planes was a bad idea. The environment... boo...

*****She does go on to say that counseling to choose life isn't enough, that we need to support these women and make adoptions easier. It is nice to hear a pro-lifer actally talk about supporting women in this situation instead of just talking them into keeping the baby and then leaving them and the baby to fend for themselves. But I would be interested to know what kind of "support" we're talking about here. If you are really willing to bring about a "culture of life" you need to realize that life includes health, finances, and quality of life issues among other things for both mother and child.

******There goes the gay vote, if there was one left. Most feminists I know think the same thing. Wait... no that's wrong.

Read more On "The Feminine Mystique"!

How the American education system failed McCain.

While American schools are like 25th in math and science, we must be about 10 millionth in geography. But surely McCain didn't mean this Hugo Chavez, as in the president of Venezuela, which is most definitely not in the Middle East or anywhere remotely near it.

Maybe McCain is trying to steal Biden's Sir Gaffesalot title...

Nah, I'm sure he meant Hugo Chavez, that other guy. You know, the one who is from that other country... over there... yeah, yeah, you know, the country somewhere over on the other side of that narrow maritime border Alaska shares with Russia.

Because Alaskans are totally awesome with international relations, but geography too!

And bless their hearts for all that international relations/security business too, while I'm at it. Sharing that border and watching those Russians making sure they don't get into our air space and all... whew. A dirty job, but someone's got to do it.

Maybe Mike Rowe could go check it out soon and feature it in his new season.
Read more On "How the American education system failed McCain."!

Monday, September 29, 2008


Does anyone else hear the voice of the NBA Jam announcer when they read the word 'rejected'? Ok. So it's just me, then.

So the bailout plan has been rejected by the house with a vote of 228-205. Now what?

It is a testament to the power of the administration's fear machine that my mind equates the bailout plan with being saved from imminent economic collapse. There are other options, ideally options with some kind of oversight since lack of oversight and deregulation is what got us to where we are now.

Maybe we should look to Sweden.

I think that we need to hold these bank's accountable and writing them a huge check that we can't truly cash is irresponsible for us and too easy on them.

Read more On "Rejected!"!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

pwarb official Palin Debate Dropout Pool.

We all know the deep, misunderstood brilliance that is Sarah Sarahcuda HockymomPitbull Van Palin. And frankly, I think that this says it all.

As fine a lady as she is, the reports that debate practices aren't going so well are rolling in and let's face it, no one on the right is even touching the Katie Couric interview. So, the thought occurs that well, come Thursday, Palin might not be debating after all. Maybe she'll suddenly fall ill or go into labor with her next pregnancy that no one knows about. Whatever the reason is, we don't yet know or really care, but it'll be a surprise to see her in St. Louis Thursday. Frankly, I just don't think she has the guts, or that McCain's people are dumb enough.

So, here the deal: email the date and time that you think it will be publicly announced by the McCain/Palin camp that Palin won't be attending the debate on Thursday to Bonus points if you include 1) the reason you think that they'll use and 2) if you can correctly guess whether or not they will announce at that time that she is being replaced as the VP candidate.

We may or may not be talking about prizes. We are definitely talking about some sort of public recognition. All that, and a personal sense of satisfaction beyond what you might already get from such news. Good luck and get to it!

UPDATE: If you think that she will indeed make it to St. Louis and debate, we are accepting this as an acceptable pool entry. Just state as much in the email you send and please include how many minutes you think she'll make it before breaking down in tears. Read more On "pwarb official Palin Debate Dropout Pool."!

Sweet Mother of God

This picture from NORAD proves that Sarah Palin has been right all along, more so than any of us want to admit:

It is clear now that McCain wants to build those 40 bajillion new nucular plants in the hope that the radiation will allow him to grow to Putinesque proportions and fight for America one... last... time.
Read more On "Sweet Mother of God"!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Wow, he didn't smile that big last night...weird.

In fact, a lot of people cited his inabilities to look the least bit not miserable or look Sen. Obama in the eye once as some of the reasons they felt he didn't do so great.

And I'd bet that he isn't smiling at all today. When the first little ad below that I wrote about yesterday afternoon (as in before the debate) popped up on the Washington Post site yesterday, it was probably a little embarrasing for at least a few people in the McCain camp.

(Thanks Wonkette for the pic again)

But I mean, it could have turned out okay, right?

But I'd go as far as to say that after the polls came out today in favor of Obama, it's gone past embarrassing, straight to just biting. Oops. Just a little reminder that words and phrases like "grumpy old man", "beligerant", and "dismissive" keep popping up and being used to describe non other than John McCain.

What could have maybe turned out okay, instead probably turned into someone in McCain's marketing department losing their job. Hey, I hear that Obama's people are still out registering voters if you need a job.

Read more On "Wow, he didn't smile that big last night...weird."!

Cafferty Nails Palin's Coffin Shut

I'm personally done talking about Palin. Jack Cafferty has said all that can be said. Required viewing below.
Read more On "Cafferty Nails Palin's Coffin Shut"!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Get to it people!

Don't forget about the McCain/Palin yard sign contest posted yesterday. This time around we are promising a prize so get your submissions in ASAP!

Read more On "Get to it people!"!

Oooh, it's a debate!

Daily Kos immediately picked up on my 2 favorite things of the evening so far.

#1: At least know how to say these guys' names, ass.

(photo cred:

#2: We noticed this, did you? Obama has one. Where is McCain's?

Also, how many old-timey phrases can McCain use in one debate?
1. festoon
2. parsing words

Feel free to add your own faves in the comments section.

Oh, yeah, and I get it McCain... you don't think Obama "gets it." You've said it at least a dozen times during this debate tonight. This coming from the guy who less than 2 weeks ago said that our economy was fundamentally strong and then less than 2 days ago put his campaign on hold to work on the economy, and then wrecked everything.

And lastly, Jim Leher, your eyes are huge and dark and swallow the souls of everyone watching. Read more On "Oooh, it's a debate!"!

one of the best conversations in the english language

Wanted to finally put something on here at least as a notice of intent to one day do so a little more regularly. This is an especially ridiculous conversation me and JE had earlier in regards to this link.

barack's breakfasts are awesome

ST: 4-6 eggs?
thats a big omelet

ST: must be nice to have all that egg money laying around, elitist bastard
he must have quite the nest egg ehh

JE: everymorning he has egg on his face

ST: sounds like an eggselent breakfast

JE: eating that many eggs is a bit eggstravagant

ST: i could eat like that if i hadnt counted my eggs before they hatched with the economy and all
i think he might be eggsagerating
JE: ...annnnd SCENE.

ST: what about eggzactly

JE: these are some funny yolks.
how is barack like an egg?

ST: idk

JE: they're both half whites

ST: yo
well the repubs do criticize him for being an egghead"

From here it degraded to a general frustration about the lack of puns in political journalism, I mean get it together WaPo editorial staff.

Read more On "one of the best conversations in the english language"!

This makes me laugh... and cry...

At first, this Wonkette article just seems funny.
For the win!
Thanks to Wonkette.

The funniest part is that even if this was put online by mistake, the fact that McCain even considered the possibility for a moment that his oratory skills could possibly overpower Obama's is laughable. I know conservatives who are voting McCain who admit that McCain isn't a very good speaker, especially when compared Obama.

It's like when a newspaper creates 2 covers with 2 different headlines, but this time, the paper ran the wrong headline on accident.

But the sad part is that there are voters out there paying so little attention that probably at least someone will think that this is real. Sadly, too, it would appear that McCain is might actually win this one by just flat out refusing to show up, but making people THINK he did.

It's funny how that is a trend in the Republican party these days: just refusing to show up and still winning small battles.

Palin's husband, assistant, etc refused to show up to court after a Republican-run committee still voted 3-2 (the Republican who voted with the 2 Dems was oddly enough from Wasilla...) to issue subpoenas in the Troopergate investigation. Normally, people are arrested when they refuse to follow the orders of subpoenas. Instead, Troopergate just fades into the background - at least until the election is over. Too bad this isn't even the most embarrassing thing to happen to Palin recently.

UPDATE: According to a new article on CNN posted 13 min. ago, McCain will attend the debate, unless his private jet breaks down on the way there or someone shakes Cindy's hand a little too hard again and they have to go to the emergency room, because you know, they have health care so they can afford to do that.
Read more On "This makes me laugh... and cry..."!

Live Video Feed from U.S. Senate's Basement Rumpus Room

John McCain has been doing this while yelling "I'm helping! I'm helping!" since the House GOP stormed out of bailout talks last night. Perhaps everyone can go back to the agreement reached yesterday after the lil' guy tuckers out and John Boehner carries him off to bed. Read more On "Live Video Feed from U.S. Senate's Basement Rumpus Room"!

John McCain to be Elected President of Alaska

This was his plan all along. The sub-zero temperatures will slow his reptilian metabolism to a crawl, enabling him to rule with a frozen fist for decades. Read more On "John McCain to be Elected President of Alaska"!

McCain's brain turns into a turd and Couric looks like she smells Sarahcuda's dirty diaper.

Well folks, JMac has really done it this time. Instead of "keeping presidential campaign politics out of the economic crisis" like Obama suggested, McCain swooped in to D.C. in a last ditch effort to stall the bailout just long enough to have a reason not to show up to the debate. But I mean, we all know he is the economic guru of our time, all while sitting completely silent for 40 straight minutes, a mere spectator in the meeting he actually called together about the end of the world.

McCain is so used to overtaxing the middle class, you'd think that he'd be on board with this bailout plan where the middle class would once again be shouldering the burden of the overpayed, undertaxed morons who rule ruin the world one crooked trade at a time.

But don't worry, SuperPalin will swoop and save the world as evidenced by her ever-composed interview with Katie Couric:

My favorite seconds lie around 0:54 when there are some long moments of silence, some might even say composure. I wouldn't. I'd call it not knowing what to say before deferring to repeating EXACTLY what she just said about 15 seconds before.

Then around the 2:10 mark where she says that the America is waiting to see what McCain is going to do. I'd say we're waiting for anyone to do anything at this point. "Inaction is not an option", but I'd say that is what McCain is doing right now.

Not to alarm the American public so that we all make sure to pull our money out of our respective banks, but:

"...crisis moment..." whoa. Deep.
Then, talking point 1, talking point 2, talking point 3... get those key words in Sarah. Vocab! Vocab!

Maybe this is what Bush was talking about when he said, "If money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down."

Or what US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson was in fear of when he got "literally down on one knee, begging Ms Pelosi to help push through the bail-out package."

and finally:

words words PUTIN words AIR SPACE words words words MARITIME BORDER

Read more On "McCain's brain turns into a turd and Couric looks like she smells Sarahcuda's dirty diaper."!

Why I am voting McCain/Palin '08

Think of America as a vending machine. Complete economic and social collapse is a delicious candy bar dangling inside. We got that vending machine rocking back and forth pretty good. It's the end of the security guard's shift. If the guy taking over for him is just as inept and irresponsible, we're having candy for dinner tonight.

I guess this isn't what everyone wants. Most folks just want a secure job, house in the burbs, a couple kids. Me? I always imagined spending my adult years traveling with a nomadic motorgang across a post-apocalyptic wasteland, raiding small communities held out in desolate urban landscapes. We take their fuel to feed our vehicles, their women to increase our numbers, and their animal pelts to fashion worthy garments for our warrior queen.

This probably wouldn't happen under McCain, but how long could he last? If he was a carton of milk you would be sniffing him every morning before you pour him on your cereal.

So when he kicks it we get Palin. If she were to move to Washington DC from Alaska, not only would she travel over 5,000 miles, but also 4 hours into the future. After a day or two of trying to translate her experience as a hockey Mom to her role as leader of the free world people will probably just stop listening.

The Supreme Court justices will just walk around, padlocking government offices. Congress will spend their sessions learning Chinese. The Thunder Bandits (my motorgang) will offer Palin safe passage to our new republic in the Arizona desert, where we worship her as the bringer of the "New Tide", and we watch the system burn down around us.

It's going to be great. McCain/Palin '08!

Read more On "Why I am voting McCain/Palin '08"!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Photoshop Phun: McCain Yard Sign Edition

McCain/Palin sign making contest! You can find the blank sign here. Upload your sign in the comments or something email your sign to me at and maybe the winner will get a prize or probably not. All submissions will be posted at a later date.
Special thanks to 5 Oclock Shadow of dailykos for the blank sign graphic.
Oh, and if you have some fancypants design program that will have it, Optima Bold is the actual font to use. Have fun... Read more On "Photoshop Phun: McCain Yard Sign Edition"!

I can't get a god damn thing done on the internet anymore.

straight cred to

Whatever I planned to accomplish this morning, it went right out the window once I found Dan Lacey's "Sarah Palin with a pancake on her head".

What is this spell Palin has over me? Why do her images haunt me so? I can't even run a Google search for a very specific type of pornography without coming across a picture of Palin, laughing, mouth agape, with pancakes on her head, in a perverse interpretation of my search terms.

I hope Obama offers Palin a position in his administration, just so America gets to see that spunky face of her's once in a while. Maybe she could head the bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. I love republican views on those things. I want to start this promotional program where you can save Jack Daniels bottle tops and exchange a specified quantity for an assault rifle, but the Jack Daniels tell me that idea is pretty illegal right now and the best they can offer me for all my bottle tops is a hat.

Damn, am I hungry for some pancakes.
Read more On "I can't get a god damn thing done on the internet anymore."!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Louisiana Reminds You to Spay and Neuter Your Poor People

It's always nice to see a Republican lawmaker supporting funding for birth control, but is this a contraceptive to far? Louisiana state representative John LaBruzzo,(R)-Metaire, is working on a proposal to offer $1,000 to low income women who agree to have their tubes tied. Can't we just put something in Sunny D or Slim Jims or whatever poor people are consuming these days and save all that money for more important things, like giving it to the rich? Oh, nevermind. LaBruzzo has got that covered too. His proposal would also include tax incentives for people with college educations and higher incomes to have more children. Guess what demographics LaBruzzo falls into, that sly dog. Wouldn't that make LaBruzzo a whore for being paid for his elitist sexy times, and his own pimp for setting up the deal?

"It's easy to say, 'Oh, he's a racist, ' " LaBruzzo said.
It is pretty easy, especially when this guy represents the district that spawned David Duke, another dude who is just full of ideas.
It's too late to create the master race Louisiana, mainly because YOU ARE LOUISIANA. Read more On "Louisiana Reminds You to Spay and Neuter Your Poor People"!

U.S. Tap Water: Fortified with ROCKET FUEL

Yes, delicious rocket fuel. I believe our tap water now qualifies as an extreme energy drink. Unfortunately percholarate--the rocket fuel chemical ingredient in question--won't give you wings like Red Bull or even make your sweat glow green like a gatorade commercial. Instead it harms human thyroid glands and interferes with mental and physical development in fetuses and infants. X-Treme! Sounds pretty bad, but the EPA has told us to stop being such a nation of whiners and fill up our bisphenol-A laced Nalgene bottles (because the plastics industry lob--*cough* I mean FDA, says that's safe too) with our super water and LIKE IT. Read more On "U.S. Tap Water: Fortified with ROCKET FUEL"!

Palin poised to strike

some guy's face.

I'm sure CNN's article about Palin's noncompliance with the Alaskan legislature's investigation and the hiding of evidence regarding, blah blah blah, was very important, but damn doesn't that picture catch the eye.

The only times a woman has looked at me like that, she was about to do something really bad, or really good to me.

I'm sure this picture is simply a transitional expression, a half smile if you will, but you know Palin has that look in her repertoire somewhere.

I can't even look at it for an extended period of time. I kept loading, trying to the right picture of Clay Aiken talking about super gay he is, which I was going to photoshop it into this picture of a scene from Transformers, but Palin kept scaring me away and now I can't even remember what the point of the Aiken/Transformers thing was going to be.

Thank you CNN and Getty Images for this great photo. I'm sure the internet will find many uses for it in the months to come.
Read more On "Palin poised to strike"!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Other Half

Driving home from work today, I heard an ad for the new 90210- AWESOME, I know. It billed the show as "Watching how the other half" lived. Psh. Beverly Hills is SO CrAzY! RIGHT?!? Well driving TO work was a different story.....

The "Other Half" this morning was not about Kelly and Brenda (dude Brenda SUCKS). It was
"I bet listeners can't guess who the most expensive member of Congress is"-Radio DJ
"John Kerry"- RK

Weighing in at $230 big ones, Mr. Ketchup could buy and sell the entire ZIP code of 90210. But he's from the party that connects with "real" people; not John McCain and his multi-house mafia (BTW Big Mac didn't even make the top 10... He was Lucky #13 right above the lovely McCaskill). Sixty percent of the top 10 were from the same party complaining that McCain is too wealthy. I mean , he's no Ted Kennedy ($47.62) or Jay Rockefeller ($80.40)- both in the top ten, but $19.64 mil is nothing to scoff at.
Math was never really my thing, but I'm beginning to think that if you added up the worth of Congress, we could raise $700 billion to bail out Wall Street; because that's the smart thing to do, right?
Or you could buy about 30.5 John Kerry's.
Life is full of tough decisions.
Good thing "the other half" of America is there to tackle it.
Read more On "The Other Half"!

Baby When the Lights Go Out....

Remember a few weeks ago when this is all you saw on TV?

Well the cities of Houston and Galveston STILL can't see that. Wanna know why? Because the majority of SE Texas is still without electricity. That's right. Day 11. But don't worry because Geraldo and Anderson Cooper got their money shots and then left. And McCain and Obama said their thing and then shut up. And some local politicians visited Texas.... but they soon left to go back to their air conditioned homes with cable and internet, while the coast as far inland as 70 miles is still powerless; literally.
What does this mean? It means that schools are canceled indefinitely. It means Houston has a curfew because there are no streetlights to light up the debris-covered roads. It means that people can't eat fresh food because they can't keep produce, meat or dairy without refrigeration. It means that they can't watch TV to see how America has neglected to cover the aftermath of Ike.
What are they reporting about? Well here's this tidbit from
There's a shocker.

God Bless American Media!

Read more On "Baby When the Lights Go Out...."!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Joe Biden's Secrets Revealed!

Well known: Joe Biden has had a hair transplant.

Not well known: from his back.

Joe Biden currently has the lowest net worth of any Senator. Before 1994, Biden was the 5th wealthiest Senator. He, like many Americans, made foolish investments during the Beanie Baby craze.

Biden can crush 2 walnuts at a time in his "knee-pit".

In his first year of law school, Biden was accused of plagiarizing portions of an article written for the Syracuse Law Review. Biden attributed the mistake to his ignorance of citation rules, his inexperience using the time machine he invented in undergrad, and his underestimation of Thomas Jefferson's tolerance for wine.

Biden has commuted, by train, from Wilmington Delaware to Washington DC, every day since 1972. He has a reserved seat on that train. It is a saddle, bolted to the roof.

Biden is well known for making public gaffes. One of his most famous:

Reporter: "Are you aware you are well know for making public gaffes?"

Biden: "Gaffes? Is the your homo-way of saying I like to use the word 'cunt' in my speeches?"

Biden has a lifetime 86% scoring from the ACLU, regarding his alignment with their issues. He has overall moderate views, but has consistently voted to take guns away from police officers and in favor of mandatory abortions for white women.

Biden is recognized by the color of his hair. On September 27, 1980 it turned from jet black to white, within 10 minutes of his learning of the death of Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham.

Biden's nickname in the senate is "The Barn Owl". It has little to do with his legislative technique, but everything to do with his "spirit animal", encountered during a 4 day metaphysical journey he took though the senate chambers, after eating hallucinogenic cacti.

Read more On "Joe Biden's Secrets Revealed!"!

Humane Society Endorses Obama, Seals up "Cat Lady" Vote

Normally the Humane Society Legislative Fund stays out of presidential politics, but once again we see this is no normal election year. The McCain/Palin ticket is so disturbing on animal welfare issues that the Humane Society has come out in full support of Obama, pictured here holding Baby, a three legged survivor of the kind of puppy mills he has worked towards shutting down.
The press release issued by the Humane Society Legislative Fund reads:
As an Illinois state senator, he backed at least a dozen animal protection laws, including those to strengthen the penalties for animal cruelty, to help animal shelters, to promote spaying and neutering, and to ban the slaughter of horses for human consumption. In the U.S. Senate, he has consistently co-sponsored multiple bills to combat animal fighting and horse slaughter, and has supported efforts to increase funding for adequate enforcement of the Animal Welfare Act, Humane Methods of Slaughter Act, and federal laws to combat animal fighting and puppy mills.

On Joe Biden:
Importantly, Obama's running mate, Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) has been a stalwart friend of animal welfare advocates in the Senate, and has received high marks year after year on the Humane Scorecard. Biden has not only supported animal protection legislation during his career, but has also led the fight on important issues. He was the co-author with Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) in the 108th Congress on legislation to ban the netting of dolphins by commercial tuna fishermen. He was the lead author of a bill in the 107th Congress to prohibit trophy hunting of captive exotic mammals in fenced enclosures, and he successfully passed the bill through the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Mccain and Palin did not return the HSLF's questionnaire, but their records speak for themselves. While McCain has worked to stop horse slaughter and end subsidies for the fur industry, he has remained silent on many other animal welfare issues in the senate, most recently on the treatment of downed cattle. He's set to deliver the keynote address this coming weekend at U.S Sportsmen's Alliance rally. The U.S. Sportsmen's alliance isn't your typical hunting organization, it is an "extremist organization that defends the trophy hunting of threatened polar bears and captive shooting of tame animals inside fenced pens." Did John and Sarah bond over their mutual hatred of polar bears?
While McCain's animal welfare record is merely "meh", Sarah Palin really sent the HSLF over the edge with her views. The HSLF claims that "her record is so extreme that she has perhaps done more harm to animals than any other current governor in the United States."
Here's a summary of the trail of blood Palin has left smeared across Alaska on her way to the lower 48.
  • "Palin engineered a campaign of shooting predators from airplanes and helicopters, in order to artificially boost the populations of moose and caribou for trophy hunters." This is a practice that Congress is working to stop with the Protect America's Wildlife act. But hey, they're just Washington insiders that need some "shakin' up" right?
  • Offered a $150 dollar bounty for every wolf paw brought in by hunters.
  • Even though the people of Alaska twice voted against this practice, Palin managed to spend $400,000 worth of public funds on brochures and radio ads advocating aerial hunting.
  • Is an Ally to Safari Club International, a radical hunting group that advocates the use of steel leg traps, bear baiting, and captive animal trophy hunts that REAL hunters find inhumane and non-sporting.
  • Is suing the to stop the placement of polar bears on the federal endangered species list. She doesn't believe in science showing that the polar bear's habitat is decreasing due to ice melt (or any science really, but that's a whole other story).
If the greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated, as Mahatma Gandhi would have us believe, what can be said about a nation that would elect John McCain and Sarah Palin in November?
Read more On "Humane Society Endorses Obama, Seals up "Cat Lady" Vote"!

Obama's Got a Pretty Big Tank

So McCain's top aides had a conference call today to lie about lying, and complain about media outlets being "in the tank" for Obama. Later, Ben Smith from Politico called McCain's camp out on the embellishments they like to tack on fairly negative things that are basically true about Obama and Biden. Smith calls it "gilding the lily", which coincidentally is the old-timey euphemism John McCain prefers for an act that has not been performed within the confines of his Sedona compound in many a moon.
When Smith--by all accounts a fairly impartial journalist--asked for clarification of statements made in the conference call, McCain aide Brian Rogers answered, "You are in the tank."
True, many journalists covering this campaign are "in the tank", the drunk tank. It's become a necessary coping mechanism. Here's to getting tanked, in our tanks (for Obama). Read more On "Obama's Got a Pretty Big Tank"!

Gore May Have an Oscar but Palin's got Three Emmys

Welcome to America, where celebrity means politician; right? That's what Big Mac tells us! On that note, I'd like to take this time to congratulate Sarah Palin on her three wins for 30 Rock last night. She looked amazing, didn't she? You know who doesn't have Emmys? Obama. And Biden.

Read more On "Gore May Have an Oscar but Palin's got Three Emmys"!

State Polling for 9/21

From FiveThirtyEight, the excellent poll clearinghouse to which I lose nearly an hour of my time every day:

Ohio is a bit disturbing, until you notice that this poll was conducted before the concept of free markets committed sepuku and McCain's numbers plummeted along with the Dow.
What's more unsettling is Minnesota at only +1 to Obama. This poll isn't a statistical outlier, but part of a trend that's shown anywhere from a tie to a mere 2 point lead for Obama. What are the people of Lake Woebegone thinking? Are they just enchanted by Sarah Palin's upper midwestern accented siren's song? Garrison Keillor seems to be unavailable for comment at this time.
North Carolina showing a tie is very encouraging though. Survey USA had this state as +20 McCain back on 9/7! Could this massive momentum shift carry over into neighboring Virginia as well? I'd trade North Carolina's 15 electoral votes for Minnesota's 10 if need be, but I won't like it.
Read more On "State Polling for 9/21"!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

That's right GM factory workers! The economy is great! So shut up!

Afterwards, McCain visited a cancer ward and told the patients their doctors were full of shit. Then laid out his plan to take away their chemotherapy treatments.

It's really Obama's fault. McCain was just referencing his speech to the same workers the previous week. Obama told them they were dirty grease monkeys, who were ruining the economy and should have been aborted 10 minutes after they were born.

I guess a few of those dirty grease monkeys just happened to agree with him.
Read more On "That's right GM factory workers! The economy is great! So shut up!"!