Open the Door, Get on the Floor. Everybody Walk That Dinosaur

Mat-Su Valley activist and music teacher Phillip Munger tells America why they should be terrified of Palin getting near those nuk-u-lar codes in a recent Salon article.

"I pushed her on the earth's creation, whether it was really less than 7,000 years old and whether dinosaurs and humans walked the earth at the same time. And she said yes, she'd seen images somewhere of dinosaur fossils with human footprints in them."

Munger also asked Palin if she truly believed in the End of Days, the doomsday scenario when the Messiah will return. "She looked in my eyes and said, 'Yes, I think I will see Jesus come back to earth in my lifetime.'"

Basically Palin believes that mushroom clouds will summon Jesus on his dino-mount. Then, while all of the Muslims, gays, and secular humanists are left to reenact Cormac McCarthy's The Road for all time, Palin and her buds will ascend into heaven. Once there, God will build a frickin' sweet ramp so big even he can't jump it. But everyone will high five after Todd Palin can, on his snow-mobile. Vroooom!