Wednesday, September 24, 2008

U.S. Tap Water: Fortified with ROCKET FUEL

Yes, delicious rocket fuel. I believe our tap water now qualifies as an extreme energy drink. Unfortunately percholarate--the rocket fuel chemical ingredient in question--won't give you wings like Red Bull or even make your sweat glow green like a gatorade commercial. Instead it harms human thyroid glands and interferes with mental and physical development in fetuses and infants. X-Treme! Sounds pretty bad, but the EPA has told us to stop being such a nation of whiners and fill up our bisphenol-A laced Nalgene bottles (because the plastics industry lob--*cough* I mean FDA, says that's safe too) with our super water and LIKE IT.

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